Feeling the strain.

Too many to write but i can't.
Too many to share but i could not.
Bit by bit i am giving up.
I'm tired. I need a break. A long break.

I am not ok.

how "bersih" is BERSIH..?

Well, everybody seemed to be so hyped up about the 9th July "rally". All of a sudden we talk about how the freedom of assembly "must be protected". We talk about how the government is denying our rights as "enshrined in Article 10 of the Federal Constitution of Malaysia". but somehow we conveniently forget that there is always a second limb to the Article, that restrictions may be imposed in the interest of security or public order.

Now people will ask, what security issues? Can't the police work with us to ensure that the rally will go on smoothly? So my question is, do you know for sure how many of your supporters will be coming? Do you have their names? Can you be sure all those who comes in those yellow colour of yours will have the same understanding and intention as you? Can you guarantee that none of these people have any hidden agenda on that day? Will you take responsibility if someone in yellow decided to turn things ugly on that day?

If any of the answer to these question is no, then do not ever say there won't be any security issue. Coz if you can assume that things will go peacefully, ideally, then we have the same right to presume that maybe things will turn out the other way round.

My question is, how many of them are really doing this just for the sake of overhauling the election process in this country? because from where i am standing, the way i see it is that this is just another political game. true, your 8 demands is indeed attractive. but do you really think they can be implemented through street rallies?

The 8 demands of BERSIH are:

1. Clean the electoral roll

2. Reform postal ballot

3. Use of indelible ink

4. Minimum 21 days campaign period

5. Free and fair access to media

6. Strengthen public institutions

7. Stop Corruption

8. Stop dirty politics

Tell me, even if the government agreed to all these demands, how would you know if corruption has been stopped? how would you know there's no more dirty politics? There will always be room for speculations, won't there? and who thrives best on speculations? The way i see it, if there is a pro-government speculation, for example the "99.9% certain" sex video speculation, they say that the government is playing dirty politics. When the opposition makes speculation, no matter how ridiculous it is, they call it as "championing the rakyat". now let's give it a thought. Have these people ever once admit that they too make mistakes?

So with those two wide ranging, vague demands, how will the BERSIH people ever be satisfied? True enough the first few demands are highly commendable. But i can't help to think that the rest of the demands are politically motivated. Have you ever heard of the demands made by Puteri Gunung Ledang to the Sultan of Malacca before?

Let's have a chat about the "rally'. If i remembered correctly, did the government NOT suggested to you to have it done in a stadium in the first place? What was the response then? "no, it has to be on the streets". Coz apparently only street rallies can show how BIG the issue is. After the KDYMM YDPA intervened, all of a sudden there is a change of stand. Ok, now even a rally in the stadium can show how big the issue is. BUT it must be done in Stadium Merdeka. to show how "central and integral" the issue is to the nation.. what the fish?? Can't any of you just admit that you just wanted to see the city centre of KL be crowded in yellow that day? everybody knows that if this rally were to be done in Stadium Merdeka, all of your supporters will be there in yellow, crowding the city centre. So in the end you will still get that rally you craved for. only now it is to the stadium, and not the palace anymore. What next? Have it played in the CNN to show the world how Malaysians actually is against the government of the day? Is that your original stand? Was it not because of trying to clean the election process..??

What was the original purpose of the rally? was it not to hand over a memorandum to the YDPA? so why can't you just hand it over to the YDPA when His Majesty agreed to grant you an audience? isn't that the best opportunity for you to get your message across? you have had the opportunity to meet the YDPA himself. What better way for you to hand over your memorandum other than that? Why didn't you do that and then gather your supporters and tell them that the memorandum has been brought to the Agong's attention? Why must you insist on having a rally?

Having said that, i must admit that some of the preventive measures taken is too extreme. i wouldnt dwell on that because it is already all over the internet. BERSIH has scored the opposition some points. For its own mistakes the government's image has been tarnished badly. But honestly i don't think Malaysia need all that.

p/s : only when i start writing that i realized there is no end to this issue. just hoping for the best. As for me, maybe i'll be going for a movie on 9/7/2011. not because i dont care about my country, but because i know there is always another way of showing how much i care. :)

Snippets ...

Love is just like life,
not every turn is easy ; and
not every path leads to happiness.
But if we do not give up on life,
Then why should we give up on love..?

Papa is 53 today :)

There are times where i felt
you were harsh on me
There are times where i felt
you were being unreasonable towards me
There are times where i felt
im never good enough for you

But all the time,
I have always wanted to be like you
All the time
I have always wanted to talk the same way you do
All the time
I wanted to act just like you
All the time
I wanted to think like you
And all the time
I have always wanted to be the best for you

You amaze me
With your ability to work round the clock
Yet you are still able to ensure that you fulfil your duty towards Islam

I am amazed
With your deep knowledge and understanding about almost everything
With your sense of humour and your ability to create jokes out of nowhere
With your ability to be strict and firm yet accomodating
With your ability to scold us yet make us feel loved
With your ability to fulfil all our needs and wants.

I am amazed
With the discipline you have instilled in yourself
Coz u have always make difficult things look easy
You have always told me
That everything will be easy if i know how to discipline myself
Yet till today i just can't.

I know i can never be you
Nor can anybody else
But i am proud to be your son
And having you around to guide me
Is the best gift ever

I apologize for all my wrongdoings
I apologize for those moments when i would blame you for being harsh on me
I know you did what you did
Because u have high expectations on me as your eldest son
And I don't intend to let you down.

Thank you for everything Papa.
You have been the best for us.
You know we love you.
Happy 53rd birthday.
I love you.

:) :) :)

lesson learnt.

screwing up is one thing.facing the consequence is another. can't think of a solution. this time there's no way out. praying somehow the client will decide not to proceed with the appeal. that's d only option i have to save my arse. grounds of judgment, please b good. please don't give me any grounds to appeal, so that i can advise the client to withdraw his appeal. this profession is no fun.

myself, please remember :

1) NEVER trust the court's staffs. they don't know anything. menyesal relied 100% on their words. haritu time orang tanya cakap lain. today cakap lain plak. mana aku nak tau ko xtau, dah ko jawab mcm ko tau. dah la tu mmg keje ko hari2 ko buat, mmg la aku igt menda yg ko bgtau tu betul. lain kali xtau cakap je la xtau. kan senang. then kurang ajar pulak on d phone. bile orang introduce diri at least tanya la what can u help, or tanye je la nape call. ni orang introduce n u diam. nampak sangat mmg xde hati nak jwb call. mangkok. yah i shudnt blame u. my own fault. should have read n do some research.

2) NEVER trust the obviously untrustworthy lawyer. fine this time u win on technicalities. how wud i know?? i am just a 6 months old lawyer. can't u at least notify me earlier, since u knew about this? u know how this time there's nothing i can do to undo my mistake kan? u tau how it feels kan? xleh ke spare me this seksa n AJAR budak baru ni?? give me 2 years, i'll make u eat humble pie, arsehole. cannot blame u too. my fault jugak.

3) LITIGATION is no fun. full of pressure. once u screw up other people suffer. then because u cause them to suffer they will make u suffer. padahal u were there in the first place to help them solve their prob. bodo lah!!

Headnotes : i took over a High Court divorce matter from a far more experienced lawyer. knew nothing about the matter b4. learned the hard way.was not given the option to say no. did the full trial n obtained judgment. judgment was fairly ok but client xnak dgr n insist nak appeal. appealled and failed to do something which is fatal to the appeal. now facing the prospect of the appeal being struck out. reason : MY OWN FREAKING STOOPID MISTAKE. to make it worse, there's no way out. no way to reinstate. no way to redo. now what shud i tell the client?? "please withdraw your appeal and just pay whatever the judgment says, coz I SCREWED UP AND SURELY UR APPEAL WILL BE STRUCK OUT N THERE'S NO OTHER WAY FOR U TO APPEAL ANYMORE??"

- down, out and thinking of quitting. even that will not solve anything. sun, please shine and give me reasons to smile again. the rest, i can only pray to Him.-

We were two, now we are one :)

This post is a reminiscence of our days :)

I first heard about you from a friend of ours, Akmal Razi back during our Asasi days in UiTM. At that point of time I was not bothered to even get to know you, coz my aim was only to study and score, mainly because i screwed up in my SPM and my father made it clear to me that i was there only by luck, and if i screw up again it means my future is gone.

Fine. So there i was, a nerdy-"skema"-guy-who-wear-shirts-and-slacks-and-a-briefcase-and-a-pen-in-pocket to class. duh. like i care. At least now when i got introduced to people, they remembered me as "a guy with the pen in pocket" or a "guy with the briefcase" or "a guy who never wear jeans before". Not that I'm proud of those "trademarks" of mine, but something is better than nothing, isn't it?

During my asasi days i hardly make efforts to get to know people. I knew all the guys coz we stayed in the same block and in the same floor. The girls? I only knew those from my class, and not more than 10 others whom i got to know by chance. But this "Nurul Izzah Omar"'s name cropped up every now and then, coz she's apparently from Kuantan, and she's from the same neighbourhood. But yeah, we never met.

Then our UM days came. Since we were in a new "territory", the "Asasians" has decided to keep our close rapport. We stand under one flag, and if one of us is attacked, we will retaliate together (rekaan semata-mata. too much influence from 24. I really think me and Jack Bauer has similarities). The point I'm trying to make is that we got to know each other in UM, by chance.

In UM, you and i lead our own life. You and I know that both of us only got really close in our final years in UM. I could not remember when and why exactly. But we got close as friends. I could not dwell deeper into the details because the details will hurt not only me and you but others as well. We cannot turn back time but i believe all of us learnt a lot.

I never had any regrets falling for you.

Happy 1st anniversary to us. I love you fatty :P

Two very different people,
too scared to get along,
Till two hearts beat together,
underneath one sun,

One very special moment,
can turn a destiny,
And what some would say,
could never change,
has changed for you and me,

We are two very different people,
so much to overcome,
So why care for one another,
when there's so much to be done,

Cause sometimes it's necessary,
just look how far we've come,
You could say my friend that,
it's the end,
or a new tale has begun :)

8th :)

okay. now this post is dedicated to budak berat saya, about additional things i've learnt about her sepanjang 8 bulan dengan dia, things which i didn't know when i was her friend before :

1) she's good with kids

- sangat2 tkejut. all this while i tot budak ni pandai main kucing je. n dia pun byk kali ckp dia x suke budak2. tapi to my surprise nina n aiman sangat rapat dgn dia skrg. sgt kagum tgk dia ajar aiman maths haritu. could not describe how i feel, rasa sgt seronok. n as for nina, i think she's happy finally dia dah jumpa org yg sebaya dgn dia kot, siap boleh gado2 lagi sbb x puas ati kalah main n rebut2 nak bukak pintu kereta. (sah2 la awk menang if lawan budak 7 tahun kan??)

2) she's giving as much as i am, maybe more, for our relationship.

- i know sy slalu bising why evrytym pun mcm sy je yg kene buat mcm2. tapi percaya la evrytym i said that i know it's not true, coz this special girl has given so much for us..a lot of rough patches, n im happy i still have u.muah.

3) dia slalu risau x bertempat (paranoid)

- lepas amek gamba passport utk interview : "awk, mane gamba sy yg dulu tu, nak tgk mane lagi cantik.", "ala, nape mcm yg dulu ni lagi cantik"

- sambil mengunyah makanan: "awk, awk rasa sy makin gemuk ke?", "dah biasa org ckp sy makin kurus, nnt if org tibe2 ckp badan sy naik sy sentap"

- duduk dlm kete yg bergerak dengan sedikit laju: "amirah cuba bawak senonoh sikit!", "hei die nh bawak xleh lagi senonoh", "isshhh rapat sgt la kat belah kiri ni!!"

- setiap kali sampai mane2 tempat yg ktorg pegi: "awk, nak p toilet"

- setiap kali die marah atau merajuk : "K", "X","Xtau","Xpe", "Nite" :-0

- setiap kali mood die baik : (xleh tulis, nnt dia emo.huhu)

4) wpun dia slalu bising berat dia naik, dia x penah nampak gemuks. i know i'll never admit this dpn awk tp it's true :) owh yeah, in case u r reading, tgk betul2 ayat kat atas eh. i said x penah nampak gemuk, tp sy x ckp awk kecik B-)

5) lidah dia blh sentuh hujung hidung sendiri. yuckss. uwek. jijik.



~im still nervous evrytym nak jumpe awk. n wpun almost hari2 jumpe, sy x pernah rasa cukup. evrytym hanta awk balik sy akan sedey :( n yeah, i'll continue doing stoopid things when im with u, coz i love seeing u smile n laugh, n membebel jugak :)~

Snippets

Will be going to Malacca tomorrow till Saturday. Sunday I will be in Gambang. She'll be going to KL soon. Won't get to see her till next week..then i'll be away again for 7 days.

I miss you.

Love.

I love you means i take you for the person you are. It means that i don't expect you to be perfect.

I love you for all your beauty, for all your flaws.

I love you for all your protests, i love you when you are being stubborn, i love you when you are being ridiculous and i love you for the simple fact that you get angry very easily.

I love you when you say hurtful things, because i know you did not mean any of them. I love you when you refuse to text or call me, because that is your way of dealing with your anger.

I love you because i feel comfortable with you, i feel safe when you are around.

I love you because you make me smile, because you make my heart jump like never before.

Happy 6th month's anniversary. Lucky to have you. I love you, berat.



EXEMPTION CLAUSE : gambar di atas ini adalah masa dia tengah elok. kalau tengah garang...scary.gangster.huhu B-)

Happy Birthday Mama

Today (22nd April) is Mama's 48th Birthday.
Happy Birthday Mama.
Semoga dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan rezeki.



I Love You ~ :)

Crushed...

I can't sleep,
everything i ever knew,
Is a lie,
without you,

I can't breathe,
when my heart is broke in two,
THERE'S NO BEAT,
WITHOUT YOU,

You're not gone,
but you're not here,
At least that's the way it seems tonight,
IF WE COULD TRY TO END THESE WARS,
I KNOW THAT WE CAN MAKE IT RIGHT,
cause baby,

I DON'T WANNA FIGHT NO MORE,
I FORGOT WHAT WE WERE FIGHTING FOR,
AND THIS LONELINESS THAT'S IN MY HEART,
WON'T LET ME BE APART FROM YOU,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more,

How can I leave,
when everything that I adore,
and everything I'm living for,
Girl, it's in you,

I can't dream,
sleepless nights have got me bad,
The only dream i ever had,
is being with you,

I KNOW THAT WE CAN MAKE IT RIGHT,
IT'S GONNA TAKE A LITTLE TIME,
LETS NOT LEAVE OURSELVES WITH NO WAY OUT,
LETS NOT CROSS THAT LINE,

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this loneliness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more,

REMEMBER THAT I MADE A VOW,
THAT I WOULD NEVER LET YOU GO,
I MEANT IT THEN, I MEAN IT NOW,
AND I WANT TO TELL YOU SO,

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this loneliness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more...




I will always love you.
I miss you...

I miss you ~

This post is dedicated to my bdak dmok, nurul izzah binti omar.

Let me tell you some facts about this wonderful girlfriend of mine:

1. she's spoilt - or in another word, manja.sangat manja.

2. she eats a lot! - contrary to popular belief, she doesn't take a big portion for her meals..but then, she will eat almost every now and then.

3. when she's moody, let her be. She'll cool down n come back to you not long after that - I'm aware of this fact but i don't know why till now I'm having difficulties leaving her alone when she's not ok. of course, lagi mengamuk la minah ni tapi nak buat macam mana..saya pun tak tau kenapa saya tak boleh biar awak layan perasaan awak tu.sorry.i'll learn :)

4. when you are not okay, she will more often than not get back at you and/or leave you alone - hah.this part is the toughest. scold her and she'll scold you back.be angry and she'll be too. this girl sangat jarang nak jadi air untuk sejukkan keadaan. mengamuk je tau.gangster.but i know she's trying.thank you baby :)

5. she honours her word - whatever she promised to do, be rest assured she'll do it.

6. kuat membebel - cube la tinggal semayang.tgk brape dalam you boleh tahan dengar kata-kata "pujian" dari mulut dia.

7. she'll take excellent care of you - she's a loving girl.but i always believe her love for cats overrides her love for human being.lucky cats.darn.haha.

She'll turn 24 next week, and next week will mark our fifth month together. It has not been easy for both of us but somehow we managed to stay together. Now we have another hurdle to face - distance. I'll be in Kuantan and she'll be in KL completing her chambering. I could not wait to see this girl yang kononnya tak minat law, who complains about her work every single day complete her chambering.

I'm lucky to be part of your life.I miss you.I love you.





"Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love is when realized we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

When do i get to play futsal again..?

Dear blog,

I miss playing futsal, i miss running up and down the pitch for the whole one hour, or sometimes more than one hour non-stop, i miss shouting and asking for the ball from my teammates, i miss chasing after the ball, i miss the moments when i can pass the ball to my teammates, i miss the moments when i get the ball from my teammates, i miss the moments when we score goals, i miss the moments we react to a win, to a loss, to a draw, I miss the moments of laughter, anger, frustration and those feelings that we have on the pitch.

I miss my Gamma FC teammates, i miss my Kappa teammates, i miss the other teams who used to beat us as though we don't even know how to play.

Can't wait for adik to get over with his SPM exams. Then, nak ajak dia n kawan2 dia maen bola sampai muak. Can't wait for the next long break, when me and my Gamma FC teammates can gather and challenge other teams. Azmir(Jawa),Aliff(Ateng), Danial(Bakun),Bob(Bobby), Fairul(Askar), Uzair(Penyu), Imran(Kuda), Ariff(Lutut),Hisa(Makelele), bila la agak2 kite smua blh kumpul, pastu lawan team laen lagi eh?

-Can't wait to start kicking the ball, again.-

Hari ini :-)

"It matters not what you are thought to be, but what you are."

Found this quote in a friend's page. It made me think. It made me ponder.

Made a few calls to people i know. People who knew me. Touched by their willingness to listen, to offer words of courage, words of wisdom.

"I'm always behind you."

"Xpe, saba. Aku kenal la ko. Jgn risau aku kan ada."

"Ala amir, kalo tuhan rase ko xleh tanggung die x kasinye ko benda2 mcm ni."

"Stop kisah, stop pikir. Orang xnak paham, biar je."

"Aku rase ada je kan ko buat baik untuk dorg. Kalo orang xleh terima keburukan ko, lantak je la. Owh time ko buat benda untuk dorg bukan main dorg suke. Bile ko buat benda buruk terus xleh terima? Terus lupe ke benda2 baik yang ko buat? Pikir la sdiri bro."


* These are some of the things they said. Again it made me think.

* Yes, i am not perfect. I have my own weaknesses. But at the same time i have my
own strength and qualities.

* To some people, I am still the old me. To others, i am not the same amir anymore.
I guess I just cannot please everybody. And I don't intend to. I am just grateful
with what I have now.





-I made my decision-

Tercipta Untukku

Menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
Membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku
Mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
Saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku

BANYAK KATA
YANG TAK MAMPU KUUNGKAPKAN
KEPADA DIRIMU

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Sepanjang hidupku

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Meski waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tau
Kuslalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu
Sepanjang hidupku

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Meski waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tau
Kuslalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu


* pagi tadi dengar lagu ni kat radio..sebenarnya dah banyak kali dengar, tapi tadi the feeling was different..very very different.


P/s: baru sedar my blog ni mood bercampur-campur..kadang-kadang happy, kadang-kadang sedih. I guess that's how i am now..gembira dan sedih = gemdih :-D :-(

Soul-searching..

In need of time, in need of my own space..forgive me for whatever mistakes i've made..circumstances are such that no matter how i try to make things better, it got worse..

I guess the more people try to grip me, the more you try to get hold of me, the more you try to tie me down, the more i'll retaliate, unconsciously..

I have no reasons to lie..but at the same time i think there are things which are not supposed to be shared, things that i just have to keep within myself. Please understand that whenever i chose not to tell, it does not mean that i'm lying. Some things are best kept in our own heart, for not all human beings are transparent.

Friends, for the moment, just let me fly in the path that i have chosen..give me time, space, support and your understanding, because i need them now more than ever. If i came crashing half way, i hope you are ready to pick up the pieces, because i believe true friends will always be there.

I am adjusting my life, trying to fix one problem after another. I am no super human, so please give me time. Sometimes what you do is based on circumstances, and you just cannot explain why you chose to do what you did.

Please don't expect me to be you.., because i am me and i'm sorry if by being me i am not good enough for all of you...

To my family,luv and those who understands, thank you for being there for me.. to the rest, i am sorry for my mistakes.

Bile saye happy :-D

Only you
can make this world seem right
Only you
can make the darkness bright
Only you and you alone
can thrill me like you do
and fill my heart with love for only you

Only you
can make this change in me
For it's true
you are my destiny
When you hold my hand, i understand
the magic that you do
You're my dream come true
my one and only you, only you

Only you and you alone
can thrill me like you do
and fill my heart with love for only you

Only you
can make this change in me
For it's true
you are my destiny
When you hold my hand, i understand
the magic that you do do
You're my dream come true
my one and only you :-D




p/s: wak, if u r reading..ingatkah anda pada lagu ini..?huhu.

Smiling again :-D

feeling much better.much happier.true, things are not yet quite the same as they used to be before. but i see light, i know it's getting better :-D

to luv, i just can't stop smiling today. awk tau mcm mane nak menyakitkan hati saya dengan kebolehan awk menjawab setiap benda yang saya cakap. u understand me, n i'm glad that u do. most importantly i'm so happy that you are back, membebel :-D

don't plan on writing a long entry. just want to let the whole world know that i feel lively again. looking forward for the days to come.


i'm smiling again :-D :-D :-D

"holier-than-thou"

For one reason or another, nobody is perfect in this whole wide world. No matter how hard you try to please everyone, still, someone will get hurt.

Now, how do you judge whether a person is bad or not? You CAN'T,because you wouldn't know what he went through in his or her life. We can only know a person as good as how we see him, or what he told us. No matter how, there are still things that can't be told, and it remains a secret in that person's head.

It is sad when after all that you have done, after all the efforts you have put in, after all the help that you hand, you are being judged by one decision that you made. One decision which does not please others. One decision that you made for yourself. What hurts most is when those whom you thought knew you well, those whom you've treasured and cherished all these while turns their back on you. All of a sudden, you are perceived as one mean, useless, mindless, selfish jerk.

Things are already difficult as they are. Please don't make it any more difficult. True friends would have understood. It's fine if you disagree , but at least don't make it more difficult. We can agree to disagree can't we?

You have not come to this stage. If and when you do, when your heart starts to feel, than you will know that no matter how hard you try, you can't lie to yourself.

I know what i did was out of the norm, i am not blind. But if you do not understand, and if you have questions, why don't you come straight to me and ASK? What is the worst that can happen? In fact, you'll get your explanation, and then it is up to you whether or not to accept. But please give me my chance to be heard, because as what I've been hearing throughout my 4 years in law school, "audi alteram partem". Yeah right.Easier said than done.

What i did was different. but at the same time I believe it is not wrong.
I know it may not please a lot of people. i know it is not a popular decision. I'd rather be seen as a mean, selfish jerk, as long as i am being true to myself, as long as I am being myself.

Hypocrites? I am not interested. Please excuse me. Ouch.







P/s: Hidup ini bagaikan roda, kadang-kadang kite di atas, kadang-kadang kite di bawah. Bile kite di atas, jangan pandang rendah pada yang di bawah sebab satu hari nanti, kite mungkin akan berada di sana juga.

As long as there are still those who understands..

Dear blog. here i am again, running my fingers through this old keyboard, writing my second entry...i still feel awkward, because i've never done this before, but i guess i need to spill out what has been on my mind for long..i guess it is taking its toll on me and i don't think i can keep it within myself anymore..

I tried hard to keep my mouth shut, i kept silent, listening and taking everything that has been said about me in my strides, pretending as though these things doesn't hurt but things doesn't seem to improve. Instead, things are getting worse.

Please don't judge me because of this one decision that i made.I believe i deserve much better. I believe all of you should have known me much better...

I vow to myself, i will never say anything bad about others, because now i know how much it hurts. Keeping mum is the better option. Let others say what they want. I am only interested in the truth, and one day, the truth will prevail.

To those who understands..THANK YOU for really knowing me.

-I've never judged you before, why are you judging me..?-