Feeling the strain.

Too many to write but i can't.
Too many to share but i could not.
Bit by bit i am giving up.
I'm tired. I need a break. A long break.

I am not ok.

how "bersih" is BERSIH..?

Well, everybody seemed to be so hyped up about the 9th July "rally". All of a sudden we talk about how the freedom of assembly "must be protected". We talk about how the government is denying our rights as "enshrined in Article 10 of the Federal Constitution of Malaysia". but somehow we conveniently forget that there is always a second limb to the Article, that restrictions may be imposed in the interest of security or public order.

Now people will ask, what security issues? Can't the police work with us to ensure that the rally will go on smoothly? So my question is, do you know for sure how many of your supporters will be coming? Do you have their names? Can you be sure all those who comes in those yellow colour of yours will have the same understanding and intention as you? Can you guarantee that none of these people have any hidden agenda on that day? Will you take responsibility if someone in yellow decided to turn things ugly on that day?

If any of the answer to these question is no, then do not ever say there won't be any security issue. Coz if you can assume that things will go peacefully, ideally, then we have the same right to presume that maybe things will turn out the other way round.

My question is, how many of them are really doing this just for the sake of overhauling the election process in this country? because from where i am standing, the way i see it is that this is just another political game. true, your 8 demands is indeed attractive. but do you really think they can be implemented through street rallies?

The 8 demands of BERSIH are:

1. Clean the electoral roll

2. Reform postal ballot

3. Use of indelible ink

4. Minimum 21 days campaign period

5. Free and fair access to media

6. Strengthen public institutions

7. Stop Corruption

8. Stop dirty politics

Tell me, even if the government agreed to all these demands, how would you know if corruption has been stopped? how would you know there's no more dirty politics? There will always be room for speculations, won't there? and who thrives best on speculations? The way i see it, if there is a pro-government speculation, for example the "99.9% certain" sex video speculation, they say that the government is playing dirty politics. When the opposition makes speculation, no matter how ridiculous it is, they call it as "championing the rakyat". now let's give it a thought. Have these people ever once admit that they too make mistakes?

So with those two wide ranging, vague demands, how will the BERSIH people ever be satisfied? True enough the first few demands are highly commendable. But i can't help to think that the rest of the demands are politically motivated. Have you ever heard of the demands made by Puteri Gunung Ledang to the Sultan of Malacca before?

Let's have a chat about the "rally'. If i remembered correctly, did the government NOT suggested to you to have it done in a stadium in the first place? What was the response then? "no, it has to be on the streets". Coz apparently only street rallies can show how BIG the issue is. After the KDYMM YDPA intervened, all of a sudden there is a change of stand. Ok, now even a rally in the stadium can show how big the issue is. BUT it must be done in Stadium Merdeka. to show how "central and integral" the issue is to the nation.. what the fish?? Can't any of you just admit that you just wanted to see the city centre of KL be crowded in yellow that day? everybody knows that if this rally were to be done in Stadium Merdeka, all of your supporters will be there in yellow, crowding the city centre. So in the end you will still get that rally you craved for. only now it is to the stadium, and not the palace anymore. What next? Have it played in the CNN to show the world how Malaysians actually is against the government of the day? Is that your original stand? Was it not because of trying to clean the election process..??

What was the original purpose of the rally? was it not to hand over a memorandum to the YDPA? so why can't you just hand it over to the YDPA when His Majesty agreed to grant you an audience? isn't that the best opportunity for you to get your message across? you have had the opportunity to meet the YDPA himself. What better way for you to hand over your memorandum other than that? Why didn't you do that and then gather your supporters and tell them that the memorandum has been brought to the Agong's attention? Why must you insist on having a rally?

Having said that, i must admit that some of the preventive measures taken is too extreme. i wouldnt dwell on that because it is already all over the internet. BERSIH has scored the opposition some points. For its own mistakes the government's image has been tarnished badly. But honestly i don't think Malaysia need all that.

p/s : only when i start writing that i realized there is no end to this issue. just hoping for the best. As for me, maybe i'll be going for a movie on 9/7/2011. not because i dont care about my country, but because i know there is always another way of showing how much i care. :)

Snippets ...

Love is just like life,
not every turn is easy ; and
not every path leads to happiness.
But if we do not give up on life,
Then why should we give up on love..?

Papa is 53 today :)

There are times where i felt
you were harsh on me
There are times where i felt
you were being unreasonable towards me
There are times where i felt
im never good enough for you

But all the time,
I have always wanted to be like you
All the time
I have always wanted to talk the same way you do
All the time
I wanted to act just like you
All the time
I wanted to think like you
And all the time
I have always wanted to be the best for you

You amaze me
With your ability to work round the clock
Yet you are still able to ensure that you fulfil your duty towards Islam

I am amazed
With your deep knowledge and understanding about almost everything
With your sense of humour and your ability to create jokes out of nowhere
With your ability to be strict and firm yet accomodating
With your ability to scold us yet make us feel loved
With your ability to fulfil all our needs and wants.

I am amazed
With the discipline you have instilled in yourself
Coz u have always make difficult things look easy
You have always told me
That everything will be easy if i know how to discipline myself
Yet till today i just can't.

I know i can never be you
Nor can anybody else
But i am proud to be your son
And having you around to guide me
Is the best gift ever

I apologize for all my wrongdoings
I apologize for those moments when i would blame you for being harsh on me
I know you did what you did
Because u have high expectations on me as your eldest son
And I don't intend to let you down.

Thank you for everything Papa.
You have been the best for us.
You know we love you.
Happy 53rd birthday.
I love you.

:) :) :)

lesson learnt.

screwing up is one thing.facing the consequence is another. can't think of a solution. this time there's no way out. praying somehow the client will decide not to proceed with the appeal. that's d only option i have to save my arse. grounds of judgment, please b good. please don't give me any grounds to appeal, so that i can advise the client to withdraw his appeal. this profession is no fun.

myself, please remember :

1) NEVER trust the court's staffs. they don't know anything. menyesal relied 100% on their words. haritu time orang tanya cakap lain. today cakap lain plak. mana aku nak tau ko xtau, dah ko jawab mcm ko tau. dah la tu mmg keje ko hari2 ko buat, mmg la aku igt menda yg ko bgtau tu betul. lain kali xtau cakap je la xtau. kan senang. then kurang ajar pulak on d phone. bile orang introduce diri at least tanya la what can u help, or tanye je la nape call. ni orang introduce n u diam. nampak sangat mmg xde hati nak jwb call. mangkok. yah i shudnt blame u. my own fault. should have read n do some research.

2) NEVER trust the obviously untrustworthy lawyer. fine this time u win on technicalities. how wud i know?? i am just a 6 months old lawyer. can't u at least notify me earlier, since u knew about this? u know how this time there's nothing i can do to undo my mistake kan? u tau how it feels kan? xleh ke spare me this seksa n AJAR budak baru ni?? give me 2 years, i'll make u eat humble pie, arsehole. cannot blame u too. my fault jugak.

3) LITIGATION is no fun. full of pressure. once u screw up other people suffer. then because u cause them to suffer they will make u suffer. padahal u were there in the first place to help them solve their prob. bodo lah!!

Headnotes : i took over a High Court divorce matter from a far more experienced lawyer. knew nothing about the matter b4. learned the hard way.was not given the option to say no. did the full trial n obtained judgment. judgment was fairly ok but client xnak dgr n insist nak appeal. appealled and failed to do something which is fatal to the appeal. now facing the prospect of the appeal being struck out. reason : MY OWN FREAKING STOOPID MISTAKE. to make it worse, there's no way out. no way to reinstate. no way to redo. now what shud i tell the client?? "please withdraw your appeal and just pay whatever the judgment says, coz I SCREWED UP AND SURELY UR APPEAL WILL BE STRUCK OUT N THERE'S NO OTHER WAY FOR U TO APPEAL ANYMORE??"

- down, out and thinking of quitting. even that will not solve anything. sun, please shine and give me reasons to smile again. the rest, i can only pray to Him.-

We were two, now we are one :)

This post is a reminiscence of our days :)

I first heard about you from a friend of ours, Akmal Razi back during our Asasi days in UiTM. At that point of time I was not bothered to even get to know you, coz my aim was only to study and score, mainly because i screwed up in my SPM and my father made it clear to me that i was there only by luck, and if i screw up again it means my future is gone.

Fine. So there i was, a nerdy-"skema"-guy-who-wear-shirts-and-slacks-and-a-briefcase-and-a-pen-in-pocket to class. duh. like i care. At least now when i got introduced to people, they remembered me as "a guy with the pen in pocket" or a "guy with the briefcase" or "a guy who never wear jeans before". Not that I'm proud of those "trademarks" of mine, but something is better than nothing, isn't it?

During my asasi days i hardly make efforts to get to know people. I knew all the guys coz we stayed in the same block and in the same floor. The girls? I only knew those from my class, and not more than 10 others whom i got to know by chance. But this "Nurul Izzah Omar"'s name cropped up every now and then, coz she's apparently from Kuantan, and she's from the same neighbourhood. But yeah, we never met.

Then our UM days came. Since we were in a new "territory", the "Asasians" has decided to keep our close rapport. We stand under one flag, and if one of us is attacked, we will retaliate together (rekaan semata-mata. too much influence from 24. I really think me and Jack Bauer has similarities). The point I'm trying to make is that we got to know each other in UM, by chance.

In UM, you and i lead our own life. You and I know that both of us only got really close in our final years in UM. I could not remember when and why exactly. But we got close as friends. I could not dwell deeper into the details because the details will hurt not only me and you but others as well. We cannot turn back time but i believe all of us learnt a lot.

I never had any regrets falling for you.

Happy 1st anniversary to us. I love you fatty :P

Two very different people,
too scared to get along,
Till two hearts beat together,
underneath one sun,

One very special moment,
can turn a destiny,
And what some would say,
could never change,
has changed for you and me,

We are two very different people,
so much to overcome,
So why care for one another,
when there's so much to be done,

Cause sometimes it's necessary,
just look how far we've come,
You could say my friend that,
it's the end,
or a new tale has begun :)

8th :)

okay. now this post is dedicated to budak berat saya, about additional things i've learnt about her sepanjang 8 bulan dengan dia, things which i didn't know when i was her friend before :

1) she's good with kids

- sangat2 tkejut. all this while i tot budak ni pandai main kucing je. n dia pun byk kali ckp dia x suke budak2. tapi to my surprise nina n aiman sangat rapat dgn dia skrg. sgt kagum tgk dia ajar aiman maths haritu. could not describe how i feel, rasa sgt seronok. n as for nina, i think she's happy finally dia dah jumpa org yg sebaya dgn dia kot, siap boleh gado2 lagi sbb x puas ati kalah main n rebut2 nak bukak pintu kereta. (sah2 la awk menang if lawan budak 7 tahun kan??)

2) she's giving as much as i am, maybe more, for our relationship.

- i know sy slalu bising why evrytym pun mcm sy je yg kene buat mcm2. tapi percaya la evrytym i said that i know it's not true, coz this special girl has given so much for us..a lot of rough patches, n im happy i still have u.muah.

3) dia slalu risau x bertempat (paranoid)

- lepas amek gamba passport utk interview : "awk, mane gamba sy yg dulu tu, nak tgk mane lagi cantik.", "ala, nape mcm yg dulu ni lagi cantik"

- sambil mengunyah makanan: "awk, awk rasa sy makin gemuk ke?", "dah biasa org ckp sy makin kurus, nnt if org tibe2 ckp badan sy naik sy sentap"

- duduk dlm kete yg bergerak dengan sedikit laju: "amirah cuba bawak senonoh sikit!", "hei die nh bawak xleh lagi senonoh", "isshhh rapat sgt la kat belah kiri ni!!"

- setiap kali sampai mane2 tempat yg ktorg pegi: "awk, nak p toilet"

- setiap kali die marah atau merajuk : "K", "X","Xtau","Xpe", "Nite" :-0

- setiap kali mood die baik : (xleh tulis, nnt dia emo.huhu)

4) wpun dia slalu bising berat dia naik, dia x penah nampak gemuks. i know i'll never admit this dpn awk tp it's true :) owh yeah, in case u r reading, tgk betul2 ayat kat atas eh. i said x penah nampak gemuk, tp sy x ckp awk kecik B-)

5) lidah dia blh sentuh hujung hidung sendiri. yuckss. uwek. jijik.



~im still nervous evrytym nak jumpe awk. n wpun almost hari2 jumpe, sy x pernah rasa cukup. evrytym hanta awk balik sy akan sedey :( n yeah, i'll continue doing stoopid things when im with u, coz i love seeing u smile n laugh, n membebel jugak :)~